Sunday, June 24, 2012

Breaking a Leg

Out of Focus
One of those moments I am somewhere
else while on stage 
"I miss seeing you on stage", Jigs said to me.

I say that to myself too. I miss performing on stage and letting out every single worry this grown up life caused me. I miss the curtains, the lights, the smell of the fog machine and the shaky feeling while doing my thing. I'm on that I'm-craving-for-you-because-I'm-missing-you level for MY stage. Yeah, I claim it as my own. The stage has become my home. From the day I stepped on it, it has been a safe place for me to express myself without inhibitions. When I feel I'm down, the stage becomes my refuge. The feeling of stepping on it is the best feeling I know. It's my portal to another world. The stage is one place I can be myself or whoever I want to be. 

I'm not the best stage actor. I'm actually far from being good but I know I CAN perform. I sometimes fail in giving justice to the roles assigned to me but I always make sure I give my best. There are still skills  I need to develop or things I need to learn or unlearn. In short, I need more workshops and experiences (I NEED MONEY AT THIS POINT).

I think this being-away-from-my-stage phase is being too melodramatic. I can't help it! I want to perform again. I want to dance the stress away or sing my heart out. It's the only way to keep my sanity. Things recently are not cooperating with my dream of being on MY stage again. But I know, I should never close doors for my passion (I will never will!). As long as I am young, I want to explore this Theatre world which I am aware has a lot more to offer. 

For now, I'm struggling my way to reach those lifetime goals. I must help my parents first then I'll consider coming home to MY stage as a reward. So life, bring it on! And to myself: Break a leg! :)